So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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