??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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