about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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