small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
