she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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