Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
