You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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