The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he shaved USA in his pubs
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
two words: eviction party
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
