1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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