My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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