Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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