And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
