i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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