i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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