Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
