So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
