brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
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