omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So I just went to clothing optional bar
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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