So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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