new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
