So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
