i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
