used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry about my life...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
