DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
