Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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