Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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