gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
