I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
