Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
