Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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