One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
