im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize