he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
