Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
