sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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