But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my shit smells like andre
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
