I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
