Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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