Betty ford says i'm here all night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
