I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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