If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
