Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize