I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
no more duck duck goose at the bar
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
