Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
