Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
