I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
