my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
did i just pee glitter
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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