I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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