I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
