Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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