After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
