Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
