they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
