we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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