He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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