I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
