I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just had sex bonerless
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize