I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
