Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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