Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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