I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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